Happy New Year!
The First day of the New Year feels like the Monday of all the I will start on Mondays! There is a renewed energy, an excitement for the year ahead. I feel it too. Social media right now can be really triggering for recovering perfectionists like myself. Also for those of us who have dieted our whole lives, know it doesn’t work and keep having it shoved in our faces every two seconds by the next big new years resolution.
I remember completing a three month health and fitness program and the next day boarding a plane to Mexico. I remember doing my last one hour workout of the program and crying on the floor of my laundry room which was also my small workout space. I had done it. I had eaten everything they told me to, worked out each day with very little rest and repair for my body. Now I was FREE! I was 25 pounds lighter and I was ready for my health and fitness earned trip to Mexico.
Once I got on the flight to Mexico I was hungry. I looked at the airline menu and saw a wrap and thought that was the healthiest choice. I looked at the wrap and panicked. I didn’t know how many teaspoons of mayo there were? I had no idea how much sprinkled cheese!? I felt out of control. It felt like I was being bad and I fucking loved it. I was able to eat whatever I wanted. I quickly realized I wasn’t the only one who felt like I had just been released from a dark jail cell. When I got to Mexico I saw so many women stuffing their faces with donuts and all I could hear were women saying “I worked for three months to earn these”. At this moment I knew. This was not a lifestyle, this was a bandaid. This was not sustainable. But what do I do now?
I felt lost. Like I was in some limbo where I didn’t know what was next. It was scary. I had no one telling me what to do or how to eat. I would take a break while at the resort and then I would make a new plan to jump into a new workout program and keep doing the same meal plan because obviously it worked. But as I sat there at the resort finishing my third donut, I knew that there was no turning back. I had been so laser focused. So focused I am embarrassed to say I had such severe tunnel vision, that I didn’t understand why other people were having a hard time with the program. My why was strong, so was my determination to see what happens if I DID succeed. But as I sat there stuffing my face with sugar, I wasn’t so sure I was successful.
What if balance was the true success? What if I could find a way to not have this yo yo-ing happen over and over again where there was no balance. The only thing that was consistent was the shame and guilt that would not go away. Reminding myself how it didn’t matter if I lose weight, I would find a way to self sabotage and gain it right back. Does this sound familiar? The more I spoke about it, the more I realized that I am not alone. There are LOTS of us women out there. It’s hard to find a woman who has not been on a diet. I have known about diets for as long as I can remember.
If you are done with diets and want to actually bring awareness into your self sabotage, look at generational food trauma and start healing! Let’s TUNE IN! this is an 8 week group coaching course that will rock your world and completely change your life and the way you look at emotional eating. This is one hour coaching sessions over 8 weeks! Let’s find the triggers, observe the reaction and move forward with confidence! From Jan 1 - Jan 7 use code AWARENESS for $100 off.
We start January 29th!