Bring it back to neutral
While talking to my counsellor and letting it all pour out (yes I see a counsellor…I believe everyone should) my emotions were really coming out in the extremes. My counsellor said “Sarah, let’s bring it back to neutral”.
It makes sense. There is grounding in neutral. There aren’t extremes. There is balance.
I started thinking about all of my clients who label food as good or bad. They have been programmed by diets that are continuously telling us what foods to restrict because they are bad and which foods are good. I can tell you that there are some vegetables that my body doesn’t like… so it this a good/bad food?
You will notice that as soon as we label food as good or bad we begin to use it in our dialogue and begin to internalize it as part of our belief system about ourselves. It becomes “I was bad because I ate a piece of cake”. But cake doesn’t make you bad! Bringing in that belief that I am bad also brings on shame.
There is a funny thing about restriction and when we are told something is bad. Our inner teenager comes out and says “I am totally eating this cake. I will show you and eat two pieces, maybe three just to show you who’s boss”. When we our told not to eat cake our brain can’t process the no. So when our brain can’t process a negative image, it’s actually all we think about. If I were to guide you into a meditation and tell you not to think of a white piece of paper, you would probably have a really hard time thinking of anything else but a white piece of paper.
So when we bring food back to neutral we are able to take away the negative or positive processing in our brains and just bring it back to balance. We no longer think “I am bad” which brings on shame and we are able to make decisions based on what we feel our bodies need at the time.
What I ask my clients is, are you mindfully sitting down and eating the cake? Or are you shovelling it in your mouth while hiding in the corner? Was the need for cake fuelled by an emotional response and do you feel shame or guilt after eating the cake? If you are sitting down and mindfully enjoying, let go of the guilt and shame. Trust yourself. Trust that you know what you are doing and know what your body needs in this moment. Let go of the shame and enjoy the cake. What you will notice is you creating safety in your body and probably won’t go back for seconds because your needs have been satisfied and you took the time to enjoy the cake and tune into your body.
Bring it back to neutral.