Reframing Anxiety: A Journey from Fear to Empowerment
Anxiety is something many of us experience, but how we think about it can profoundly shape how we cope with it. Through a personal journey with my middle son, I’ve learned the power of reframing anxiety—seeing it as something outside of ourselves rather than something we own. This shift in perspective can transform how we manage our fears.
Seeing Anxiety from a New Angle
When we say my anxiety, we claim it as a part of who we are. It becomes internalized, a label we carry. But consider this: what if we call it the anxiety? Suddenly, it feels less personal, more like something passing through. It becomes like a storm—a cloud that drifts in, rains for a time, and eventually moves on.
This subtle shift in language can create a profound sense of space. It reminds us that anxiety is not an unchangeable part of us but something temporary, something we can observe, interact with, and ultimately release.
A Personal Story: Overcoming Stage Fright
My middle son struggles with anxiety, especially when it comes to public performances. Last year, he faced immense fear leading up to his school’s Christmas concert. The weeks before were filled with tears and sleepless nights. He feared being laughed at by the audience—a fear that haunted him nightly, especially at bedtime when the distractions of the day fell away.
On the day of the concert, despite his fears, he stepped onto the stage. But midway through his lines, the anxiety surged. He broke down in tears. In that moment, his teacher’s patience was a gift. She gave him the space to collect himself, and with the encouragement of his classmates, educators, and even the audience, he found the courage to carry on. His turn to speak came again and he said it proudly and confidently. The whole room cheered. Watching him self-regulate on that stage was one of the most powerful moments of my life.
Fast forward to this year, and the familiar fears resurfaced. But this time, we tried something new.
Breaking the Cycle of Fearful Thoughts
I explained to my son that our minds can replay anxious thoughts like an old, scratched CD. I asked him what things this CD might say and he gave me examples all of fear based thoughts. He then looked at me and said he wanted to smash that CD, so I invited him to visualize himself doing just that and stomping on it too. Then we worked on replacing that old CD with a new one and we repeated these affirmations together, over and over.
I am awesome.
I have done this before.
I am capable.
I can handle this.
As he repeated these affirmations, I saw the shift. The fear loosened its grip, replaced by a quiet confidence. Later, I even overheard him whispering these affirmations to himself before bed, solidifying this new habit of empowerment.
Finding Strength Within
One of the most beautiful lessons from this journey is the value of internal empowerment. My son often asks, “Will you be proud of me?” I always assure him, but now I turn the question back to him: “How do you feel about yourself?”
True strength comes from within. It’s not about what others think but about the pride and confidence we cultivate in ourselves. Anxiety—like the weather—may come and go, but our inner strength is the constant that carries us through.
A Practice for Reframing Anxiety
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by anxiety, here’s a simple practice to help shift your perspective:
Visualize Anxiety: Imagine it as a dark cloud or a tangible object. Picture it as separate from you.
Create Distance: With each breath, see the cloud drifting farther away.
Break the Old CD: Identify the recurring fearful thoughts. Visualize smashing the CD that holds them.
Replace with Affirmations: Choose empowering thoughts and repeat them often. Let them become your new soundtrack.
Anchor in Pride: Recall a moment when you overcame a challenge. Let that feeling of accomplishment ground you in the present.
Meditation: Listen to the mediation that I have recorded based off of this story about my son. Listen HERE
Closing Thoughts
Anxiety is a part of life, but it doesn’t have to define us. When we change how we see it—when we stop owning it and start reframing it—we can step into our power. Through visualization, affirmations, and a shift in mindset, we can learn to move through anxiety with grace and strength.
Remember, anxiety may feel overwhelming, but with strength and support, you can choose a different CD. And while the storm comes and goes, you remain constant. You are the anchor, the calm amidst the chaos. Let that truth guide you as you navigate your own journey to peace and empowerment.